Thursday, April 23, 2009

I don't understand Conner

Kon has been slacking in his duties as a superhero ... well pretty much since he came back from the dead. Robin has complained to me about it, Wonder Woman has done the same, I thought that after awhile he would get back to his more heroic nature like when he lived in Hawaii.

Okay maybe not like that he kept destroying city blocks when he lived there. But he spends most of his time worrying about his relationships, or just vanishing. Don't get me started on the wrestling obsession he's picked up.

I let it go until he embarrassed me at Barry Allen's return from the dead party.

“Oh man! It's a disaster!” he shouts.

“What is it Conner?" I respond, ready for action.

“That creepy Face guy stole my porn!"

A few days later I was actually proud to hear that Conner fought off an invasion from an alternate universe while I was writing an expose on Intergang, then capturing them three seconds afterwards. That was until I saw what the invaders looked like.

I pondered on the question of where he vanished to at times. If he's dressed as the new Nightwing, and defeating Phantom Zone criminals I could overlook the rest of his slacking, but if he's leaving the Teen Titans without his powers just for some good time...

I didn't think of that anymore for the next few days because I had to save a planet's population who's sun was about to go supernova. Of course as I was doing this Batman was annoying me on the JLA communicator complaining about his kids.

“Nightwing’s’ whiny... Blah blah blah so's Robin... blah Blah blah Batgirl defiled by half saiyan... blah blah... I ignored most of it. Yes Bruce I ignore you! Your not the most important person in everyone’s life other people have problems!

Any way when I returned to Earth I found Match, and Fury in Metroplis abusing some minor league superhero. Blast it! Conner and Wonder Girl should have caught those two weeks ago!

I tell the two clones to stop and Match sneers. “Go away Big Blue Cheese if you know what's good for you."

Where do these people come up with those asinine nick names for me? Before I have a chance to respond the two psychos leap after both of them punching knocking me back

Fury laughs. “You won't hit me Boy Scout!"

I roll my eyes. “If you mean because you're a girl well I make exceptions for sociopaths." I catch her fist before it hits my face Use my supervision to make sue no one's going to get hit by what I do next then pick her up by the arm and smash Mach with her sending him flying into an abandoned slum.

Fury was stunned but I knew it take more to put down Match. He crashes through the rubble for a minute he fights unfocused giving me the advantage until he uses his TK to somehow bend the light around him making him invisible.

“I remember how you couldn't find me when I did this before "pops” this time you will die for hurting Fury."

The last time I was Electric Superman,Yes I know I'd rather forget about that as well ,any way I didn't have my super hearing back then.

So I couldn't hear his heartbeat like I can this time I surprised him with a punch to the jaw, and another one to knock him into the street. “You’re stronger than Conner but me." I say.

In the next second Fury gets her lasso around me. Blast! I underestimated her. She starts explaining about how her lasso disintegrates what it touches, I can feel it start to happen I hate magic I also notice she's using both hands to hold it I blast at her with my Heat vision she blocks the blast with her bracelets releasing the lasso , and just like Diana's when no one is commanding the lasso it has no effect.

“Oh crap!" Fury yells before I fly around her so fast I suck all of the oxygen out of her lungs. Forcing her to pass out. Match charges me screaming, and not thinking again this time he charges straight into a hard right cross that puts out his lights.

The Special Crimes Unit, pick up the two villains after the fight is over and the other superhero seems angry I had helped him, better angry than dead. As I'm about to return to the Daily Planet Wonder Woman calls me.

“Wonder Girl just told me Conner is missing again, and the titans are about to go on a mission..."

“I’ll find him. Superman out."

I listen for his loud voice, and find it outside of my Fortress. When I fly to the scene I find Nightwing (not Richard Grayson) and Flamebird

I think to myself “Ah Conner is the new Nightwing." I choose to think he took the name out of respect for me, and not to annoy Richard. I think this until Conner comes out of the next room. "Okay Chris I'll start teaching you some tricks I learned in Hypertime that you can do with the TTK. Then afterwards I'll show you some of the fightin’ stuff Robin taught me, heck I'll even show ya a little wrestlin'."

Conner? Training someone? The mind boggles. Wait Chris? It couldn't be he's too old. But a scan with Microscopic vision proves that "Nightwing" is Chris Kent. And Conner is actually getting along with him, not only that but he's helping him,

Chris is out of the Phantom Zone... he maybe older; I think I now know How Vegeta feels with two kids grown up at an accelerated rate.

The best part was when Kon said. “Hey the Kent Brothers have to stick together." Looks like my Father's day Present has come early this year.


Jean-Luc Picard said...

It's seems like superheroes are falling over themselves in Metropolis. Are there any normal people there?

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