Super bored

You may think the lives of superheroes are constant drama, and action. In that you'd be wrong. Some times there are no villains to foil or cosmic menaces attacking for weeks.

That's the lull the JLA are in now. It wasn't so bad for me at first because the computer program of my father in the Fortress of Solitude had a glitch or a virus or something Although Lois says it was a mid- life crisis I'm not sure artificial intelligences can have those.

first he started talking in what he thought was teen lingo saying things like "crunk" and "funky fresh", then he started dating a much younger AI.

That ended when he found out she was really Brainiac “trying to find himself." I really don't want to know. But that snapped the Jor-El out program out of that weirdness. I can finally access the internet without hearing teen lingo from the 90's.

But after that little disaster, nothing much has happened for days I sat around with the JLA watching Aquaman argue with the fish in our aquarium. I'm not entirely sure but I think the fish won.

It's gotten so bad that we're just letting our sidekicks fight, and not breaking it up. Although to tell the truth Conner has had this coming from Wonder Girl for a long time.

I roll my eyes when Diana gloats. “Cassandra is still stronger that Conner even with his enhanced powers. First off who cares? Second Conner wasn't letting her win. He feels guilty for chasing anything with a skirt.

But I'll hope he feels guilty enough to actually stop the behavior without backsliding this time around. Odd thing was this was them a couple of hours later.



The lull ended for me finally when Hercules, started tearing up downtown Metropolis after hearing Conner had cheated on his little sister with an alien princess. Doesn't seem he knows which one since all he drunkenly raved. I didn’t tell him either last thing that anyone needs is a drunken Demigod stirring up the saiyan hornet's nest.

Hercules was going to tear up the main street until Conner faced him, since he’s given me trouble in the past, I decided to fight him. The battle raged... until Herc saw a strip dancer club with a special on beer, and chicken wings. I haven't heard a peep from him in hours.


Looks like its back to watching Aquaman argue with fish. Great.

Superboy: On my own.

Well I've been out of the Titans for a while. And well since Cassie thought I was “abandoning " her. So Yeah I guess we're broke up for like the 4 thousandth time.

Oh well I've spending my time actually taking down super villains instead of sitting around Titan's Tower waiting for them to attack.

I beat my old buddy the Scavenger trying to pick up Black Rings left over from all the zombie junk, he escaped babbling about how " The Universe has changed, and it's your master's fault!"


I'll never get his weird rambling. Also I fought, and defeated The reason why Batman carries around Shark repellant: King shark! Yes a shark with legs.

Well that, and I fought zombies during the Blackest Night, Zombie psycho Pirate was not cool.

Oh and the weirdest part was fightin' a dead clone of myself.


Oddest thing was after tearing him apart with my TTK I ended d up dating Van's Ex for a weekend. Ya a see Cass Cain called me and said something to the effect of " Stay away from Vella she .... should be with my brother."

Then she hangs up. I'm guessing the "brother” she’s talking aboout is Jason Todd. Because Dick Grayson would be wrong well maybe not a in a few weeks but right now...yeah, and I've always suspected that Tim Drake is asexual.

Naw I'm just bustin' his chops for constantly making me train when I was on the Titans... or am I?

Yeah well anyways you tell me to stay away from a girl I us you'll get why I gave that usally runt towards.. The dates were fun... and well when we finally get to fun time.. it was a good thing I took her to my old place in Hawaii because it seems when Saiyans , and Krpytonians get together( okay we're both half human too but whatever) well look at my place in Hawaii...

It's really weird when the girl is stronger than me too. Not used to that. Well not sure it's gonna work out though because well Vella saw this little advert By the Red Hood, and there's some ugly chick wearing diapers rubbing herself on Jason.

And Vella's reaction...
Something tells me it ain't gonna work out between me, and her.


Well later on patrol as I was tryin' not think about that disaster I heard a giggle that was way too familiar what was it doing in Metropolis? I searched around with my X-ray vision until I found it's source than I face palmed.

I had to get Meg outta there, and explain that she shouldn't be in a strip club. I flew her back to San Francisco. “ How is off with 'em?" different from you looking up my skirt Conner?"

I sigh. " Meg you should just do what everyone else does when I do that , and slap me."

" But you're my friend I don't want to hurt you!" She smiles. “Why don't you come back to the Titans? Everyone is so angsty. We can play pranks on them! Oh, and Beast Boy is leading."


Beast Boy is the Teen Titan's leader? Yeah that makes me want to come back. " Maybe Bart can come back too! Did you see him lately?"

“Um I haven't talked to Bart since the um incident..." I grunt, as I have a flashback.

What? Mr. Puppet had to die so that the world may live. “Meg I don't think there's anything here for me, at Titan's Tower." Then Wonder Girl comes out and gives me this look.


You know I've never noticed this before but I think I see the problem with Titan's tower's security, and why super villains, and kid eating monster dogs keep getting in, the entrance is a screen door! Who the designed that, and what the heck were they on? Any way with that look Cassie gave me it seems that yes there is something... or should I say someone at Titan's Tower for me.

Although she kind of ruined the moment when she turned a little crazy. " No one is ever goiing to take you away from me Conner!" her expression changed.


She also got mustard in her hair it looks like, anyway I've seen that look before, and it usually means someone is going to get hurt probably me.

Why can't I just have one candy bar in peace?

I save the world maybe five times a month, plus the occasional annoyances from the Prankster, and Toyman, also thwarting what ever scheme Lex has cooked up this week. Then I have to spend at least a little time as Clark Kent, and spend some of that with Lois.

All I ask is that I get a little time to eat a candy bar once a week, but that seems to be impossible. Rather it's Wonder Woman finding me to complain about something Conner's done this week, or Batman wanting to be all grim dark and scowl at me, and complain about well anything.




That's his happy face...

Any way I stopped eating my candy at the JLA Satellite. I tried the desert, , and well you have got to be kidding me.

Yes I know I'm laughing there, but this is why, every time I start to eat, or drink something, either as Superman or as Clark those two show up. “Superman You must give me, and Aquaman some fries or we'll die!"


"Clark! You must give us a slice of that pizza or we'll die!"

"Superman you must give us a sip of that coke or we'll die!"

I guess I was laughing out of disbelief that they'd follow me out to the desert to get my candy bar ,the melodramatic mooches. Sad thing is I know Jimmy can afford to at least buy himself a candy bar.

As for Aquaman I've been to the bottom of the ocean there's gold everywhere I've claimed some every once in a while... Hm come to think of it I may have gotten too much, and put Arthur in the poor house.

Well he does have the JLA salary, I think I can't remember if he's on the team now or not, he's barley noticeable when he's there. um anyway...I flew away from those mooches, and decided to try eating my candy bar on Pluto.

I take my first bite when I hear “Superman! I can't believe you've found me here! well you won't stop my plans this time!"

Mongul is on Pluto oh of course, and he has an evil plan as well, why not? At this rate I'll never eat my candy bar, might as well stop Mongul’s evil plan whatever that is. Sigh.

Superboy: um no

"Ya know I'm thinkn' of takin' a vacation from the Titans." I say taking bite of pizza.

Vella who for some reason wants to hang out with me giggles, " maybe you can join Legacy we' be glad to work with you closely. She blushed for a second weird.

“No I think maybe I should go back to being solo for a while. I mean all we ever seem to do now is sit in our tower, and wait to get attacked."

“Legacy just did that with Heroslayer's goon squad." Vel shrugs.

“Yeah but it's all not you do." I roll my eyes. “Another thing my clone Match was in that gang I shoulda put that dork in jail a long time ago! Ugh I should just take a vacation too take down my rouge's gallery, I said Robin certainly does it enough."


Vella grins “I don't think have the mental breakdowns he does."

“Two words why he does have them, Bat. Man." She laughs, and I continue, “I’m pretty much done teaching Chris how to use the TTK he's developed and these Titans... I don't know half of 'em Bombshell, and Aquagirl were titans when i was dead, and Static I had a team up with him once back in my fade haircut and leather jacket days but we ain't buds. Miss Martian, And Blue beetle are cool but.."

“But what?" She asks grabbing a bread stick.

“They ain't Bart, Tim, Arrowette, and Secret. Cassie is the only one left from the old group, and well sshe didn't take me dyin' very well, or me being back, maybe we need space for her sanity."

“You can join..."

“No Vel, I'm a Titan," I interrupt. “Just need a little time to clear my head, and I think. Besides Legacy is Kara's thing."

"Kon I need to ask you something. Um You know Me, and Jason broke up a little while back right?"

"Yeah? And? What did that punk do somethin' to ya? Want me to kick his ass?" I get ready to fight hey beating up Red Hood is fun everyone should do it once.

" No.. I was going to ask” But a loud "Ahem!" Stops her.

"Hey Cassandra!" Vella waves to Wonder girl.

She glares

" Am I getting in the middle of something here?" She asks.

“Don’t be silly babe" I grin “What’s up?"

" Big fire in Coast City, and Green Lantern is off in space or with some floozy either way he's not there. the Titans have been asked to help with the rescues."

I leave while Cass gives a stink eye to Vella who just smiles.
I go ahead , and fly myself to Coast City. I don't like the T- jet, and I'm faster than it with my upgraded powers, that I'm finally starting to get the hang of, how did dad um I mean Superman do this being suddenly better at something all the time?

Any way I start with the freezing the burning buildings with my breathe, and the other Titans finally help man that jet is slow, when I hear " HeyhowcanIhelp?"

I turn "What the? Bart? You really are alive!"

“Conner you're really obvious!" he shouts. “You were there when I was brought back by the Legion!"

All of the sudden this image flashes in my head.

Heh punching Prime is always cool. The Legion that explains why I didn't remember it Saturn Girl must have messed with my head before coming back from the future. I wonder which Legion it was this time? The one Superman was in as a boy or the one I was in? Ah the memories why is it I don't tell the titans about the my time with the Legion again?

Oh yeah Triad... best superpower ever! Um yeah the rescues, Bart pipes up " i bet I can save more people than you!"

“No way You little speed freak!" I grin.

"Superboy! Kid Flash! This is not a competition!" Wonder girl Goes into command mode.

“Ready Set go!" Bart gleefully hollers before vanishing in a red and gold blur.

“You ain't beatin' me!" I announce before

Cassie grumbles “Why can I never get them to listen to me?"

Bart raced up with several people or should I say he made several trips, problem I can do the same thing... me I picked up a group of people and carried them all out at once. Turns out, I and Bart save the same amount of people.

We both heard a scream from the top floor. "HA! I'm faster than you I'm gonna win!" Bart laughs. Right before running into a bunch ho flames.


" You may be faster, old buddy but I'm impervious to fire." I grin before flying through the flames.

I get to the top floor Bart got there a couple of seconds behind. The one screaming had a hot body but when she turned around....

No! Dogface big head girl! “Bart you can save this one and' win the contest!"

"Yay! Wait do dogs count?" He asks puzzled

“I’m not a dog!" She growls just like a dog “Besides I want the hunky Kryptonian to save me."

Ugh, some days it's not worth getting up in the morning. So I flew her out with her clucthing way to close. Bart asks something that I know for sure he didn't know had a dirty meaning. “Are you gonna give her a bone?"

I slap my forehead as she says “Sure hope so!" Groan. How do I get outta this without hurting her feelings? I mean I don't date chicks that remind me of Krypto. " yesah i'm kind of involved with.."

" Pssh! We all know you cheat on Wondergirl! “Dog face says. " Wait is it because of my face I saw you hit on a girl with a tail in the last LGS!"

“At least she had a human face!" I let slip out. So Of course on the news later that night was the nice little story so there was a nice where Wonder girl yelled at dogface, and the reporters recorded it all. “Does Superboy hate furries?"

Sigh. Maybe embarrassing things like this won't happen on my hiatus from the Titans.

I don't understand Conner

Kon has been slacking in his duties as a superhero ... well pretty much since he came back from the dead. Robin has complained to me about it, Wonder Woman has done the same, I thought that after awhile he would get back to his more heroic nature like when he lived in Hawaii.

Okay maybe not like that he kept destroying city blocks when he lived there. But he spends most of his time worrying about his relationships, or just vanishing. Don't get me started on the wrestling obsession he's picked up.

I let it go until he embarrassed me at Barry Allen's return from the dead party.

“Oh man! It's a disaster!” he shouts.

“What is it Conner?" I respond, ready for action.

“That creepy Face guy stole my porn!"



A few days later I was actually proud to hear that Conner fought off an invasion from an alternate universe while I was writing an expose on Intergang, then capturing them three seconds afterwards. That was until I saw what the invaders looked like.



I pondered on the question of where he vanished to at times. If he's dressed as the new Nightwing, and defeating Phantom Zone criminals I could overlook the rest of his slacking, but if he's leaving the Teen Titans without his powers just for some good time...

I didn't think of that anymore for the next few days because I had to save a planet's population who's sun was about to go supernova. Of course as I was doing this Batman was annoying me on the JLA communicator complaining about his kids.

“Nightwing’s’ whiny... Blah blah blah so's Robin... blah Blah blah Batgirl defiled by half saiyan... blah blah... I ignored most of it. Yes Bruce I ignore you! Your not the most important person in everyone’s life other people have problems!

Any way when I returned to Earth I found Match, and Fury in Metroplis abusing some minor league superhero. Blast it! Conner and Wonder Girl should have caught those two weeks ago!

I tell the two clones to stop and Match sneers. “Go away Big Blue Cheese if you know what's good for you."

Where do these people come up with those asinine nick names for me? Before I have a chance to respond the two psychos leap after both of them punching knocking me back

Fury laughs. “You won't hit me Boy Scout!"

I roll my eyes. “If you mean because you're a girl well I make exceptions for sociopaths." I catch her fist before it hits my face Use my supervision to make sue no one's going to get hit by what I do next then pick her up by the arm and smash Mach with her sending him flying into an abandoned slum.

Fury was stunned but I knew it take more to put down Match. He crashes through the rubble for a minute he fights unfocused giving me the advantage until he uses his TK to somehow bend the light around him making him invisible.

“I remember how you couldn't find me when I did this before "pops” this time you will die for hurting Fury."

The last time I was Electric Superman,Yes I know I'd rather forget about that as well ,any way I didn't have my super hearing back then.

So I couldn't hear his heartbeat like I can this time I surprised him with a punch to the jaw, and another one to knock him into the street. “You’re stronger than Conner but me." I say.

In the next second Fury gets her lasso around me. Blast! I underestimated her. She starts explaining about how her lasso disintegrates what it touches, I can feel it start to happen I hate magic I also notice she's using both hands to hold it I blast at her with my Heat vision she blocks the blast with her bracelets releasing the lasso , and just like Diana's when no one is commanding the lasso it has no effect.

“Oh crap!" Fury yells before I fly around her so fast I suck all of the oxygen out of her lungs. Forcing her to pass out. Match charges me screaming, and not thinking again this time he charges straight into a hard right cross that puts out his lights.

The Special Crimes Unit, pick up the two villains after the fight is over and the other superhero seems angry I had helped him, better angry than dead. As I'm about to return to the Daily Planet Wonder Woman calls me.

“Wonder Girl just told me Conner is missing again, and the titans are about to go on a mission..."


“I’ll find him. Superman out."

I listen for his loud voice, and find it outside of my Fortress. When I fly to the scene I find Nightwing (not Richard Grayson) and Flamebird

I think to myself “Ah Conner is the new Nightwing." I choose to think he took the name out of respect for me, and not to annoy Richard. I think this until Conner comes out of the next room. "Okay Chris I'll start teaching you some tricks I learned in Hypertime that you can do with the TTK. Then afterwards I'll show you some of the fightin’ stuff Robin taught me, heck I'll even show ya a little wrestlin'."

Conner? Training someone? The mind boggles. Wait Chris? It couldn't be he's too old. But a scan with Microscopic vision proves that "Nightwing" is Chris Kent. And Conner is actually getting along with him, not only that but he's helping him,


Chris is out of the Phantom Zone... he maybe older; I think I now know How Vegeta feels with two kids grown up at an accelerated rate.

The best part was when Kon said. “Hey the Kent Brothers have to stick together." Looks like my Father's day Present has come early this year.

Battle royal baby!

Okay I'm gonna have a chance to go for the tournament title against Vegeta....

Why in Rao's name am I fighting for this? My old man can barely beat the guy. And Kara gave me a swirlie last week. And the angry super midget already thinks I'm after his daughters. Although Blue haired women are pretty hot... I mean young ones not the old ladies who dye it blue... Oh what was I doing? Oh yeah about to fight in the Boda whazzie never mind.

I wait for the others to come into the ring. I see Cass Cain arguing with some dude. “That’s the only reason you got this far into this tournament is because you're sleeping with that alien."

“You’re jealous..."

“No kidding those damned aliens keeps me about of the Boudakai every year, and now my girlfriend is dating one?"

Cass huffs. “Boyfriend? We went ... for coffee... once Sal... not boyfriend."

Her actual boyfriend shows up. The Sal calls him every name in the book then punches Vince's face. He almost breaks his hand on the half saiyan's face. Vince let it go at that I would a punched him to the moon.

Vince is more mature than me now I'm scared.

Anyway everyone else comes into the ring. I decide to take out Batgirl first because she punched me in the crotch with metal gloves last year, and I ain't lettin' her pull that on me again.

I fly at her at super speed grab her up by the arm, and drop her safely outta the ring. “First elimination! Cassandra Cain! We're how she's out of the ring but she is!

My next target is Mirai Trunks I know he'll probably beat my ass but I want to at least deck that jerk for how he was treating HS, Justice, and Vampirella. Before I land a punch though some one else blindsides me. Damn it its Vincent.

“Well Clone time we end or battles here in at the Boudakai I will beat you without any tricks no Kryptonite no magic rings just my power, and skills. Finally we will finish it"

“Ya know Vince I was never too sure why we started fighting in the first place..." I start before I dodge another shot at my jaw. Then I counter with good old heat vision.

Alien monkey human hybrid things hair really stinks when burned. He freaks out, and turns all hairy , and weird looking


While he was grunting, and yelling with the whole transformation thing I DDT’d into the ring. His head smashed into the stone, and he looked like an ostrich in the sand I laughed, and got blasted by another saiyan damned I forgot there’s a whole bunch of others in this match. He recovers, and I take a kick into the bread basket.

He follows it up with a whole bunch of punches and kicks at super speed. Then something weird happened those power surges returned I blasted Vince with a shot of TK.

I mean real not have to touch it TK. I grin and after he gets up out of the rubble that was the ring. I slam into him making a sonic boom. When he tries to get up A few haymakers knock him back down then I unleash Arctic breathe more powerful; than I've ever used it before encasing the half saiyan in ice.

I grin “touch down!" Wait that's evil future me's catch phrase. No I won’t become him, Tim ain't gonna be gun toting Batman I think Jason's got that role now anyway, Cassie Sandsmark ain't gonna dress like Wonder slut... well there was some good things about the that future... anyway...I'm not becoming that!

Of course while I'm being emo a light shines from the ice and Vince breaks out from it looking like this.

I start laughing "dude ya know like that you look exactly like Trunks."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say as I was I caught a hard uppercut on the chin. When I came too the ref said " 10! Superboy has been eliminated!"

A second or two later Vince lost his blueness and turned to normal he was acting like he was all tired and Knocked out of the ring by his older sister Bra. "(Now her I'd like to wrestle some time) nudge nudge wink wink.

“Ha! You used up all your power on Supes Junior little brother you should have know someone else would have took you down. "

Well we're both out of the tournament. Vince yelled “finally I beat Superboy without tricks or Help! Woo Hoo!"

"Yeah yeah rub in why don't cha?" I groan. If only I could access this extra power when I wanted too I'd have smashed his face to putty.

At this moment Vincent does something weird ... he puts out his hand “Put 'er there pal."

“Eh? What?" I ask.

“You put up a good fight there's no shame but since I finally beat you we can be friends.”

I shake his hand not sure what the hell just happened but if is keeps him from wanting to fight me every few seconds then it's all good. Then Miss Martian Grabs Vella “yeah our teams can stop being meant to each other."

“We were mean to each other?" Vel Asks. “I thought that was just Vince, and Conner, and Spoiler, and Robin have hot and cold running angry at each other but and Inertia was a jerk to everyone... But the rest of us were nice to the Titans Oh well HUGS!"

I grin yes hug each other it's natural..." I smirk. “Now smell each other's hair...."

Wonder Girl elbows me in the ribs. “We are so weaning you off porn Conner."

I was hungry and looked for a food and well. What is wrong with this place...?
They only have cucumber soda to drink... and fried octopus to eat. Ugh!
Vella blasts the octopi.

And I start looking to a Mickey D’s with My Telescopic Vision “HEY CONNER CONNER CONNNER why’d she blast the octopuses? Huh? Huh?"

“Um because things with tentacles are the natural enemy of blue haired girls that are teenagers." pink, and green ones too. I laugh.

“Why?” the insistent Voice asks. Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy?"

“Look Bart I can't tell you things Tim already warned me... Wait Bart?"

I look over and sure enough...


" Hey Conner good to see you didn't get hit in the bad place this year no one wants to win like that.. Oh Man I'm not eating here this place is gross I’m going to Keystone later!"

Did Vincent hit me on the head too hard? Or did I just see Bart?"

Kon: The Boudakai round 1

I have no freakin' idea why I got into this tournament again. Not like I have much of a chance when some of the guys here are as strong as Superman. Probably because Vincent was callin' me a wienie since I said I didn't want to be in it this year.

Well let's see who's my first opponent, I can't read the name by mine since it's in Japanese. Wish I could learn languages super fast.. like Kara, and Clark. Maybe that power will kick in later.

Any way this bellowing idiot comes up to ring.

" Oh yeah Superman Jr! I'm gonna crush you! All I need is my Pinkie Finger! I'm the strongest on the planet!"

Well if he meant by smell then yeah this weird haired loser is the strongest on the planet. This brings up an interesting quandary. He says he's pretty strong , and I shouldn't hold back. Superman says I should always hold back unless I'm sure someone won't get their head knocked off.


" Yeah you little panty waist! You're afraid of Mister Satan aren't you? Why don't go, and hide behind Superman's cape and cry!"

"Oh that is it!" I growl throwing about a half strength punch. That turned out to be too much as he flew out of the ring caused a trench in the ground, and laid there like this for like half an hour.

" Out of the Ring! Winner Superboy!" The ref yells. That was well the easiest fight I've had in my life.

Mr. Satan runs around making excuses. " I tripped, and fell when you have as much power as I have One trip, can look devastating. That twerp doesn't have all that much power!"

I roll my eyes and leave the ring for the next fighters to to get ready. Hmm I wonder if they have Soder Cola here? After finding a concession stand i find instead of Soder, they have this.

Cucumber flavored soda? Think I'll pass.