Thursday, November 29, 2007

Ah!

Okay I know the whole Cass bot was a bad idea, I get it. But in my defense I did go days without sleep before thinkin' of it. And Cassandra Cain is pretty much the only one who isn't pissed about it.

HS thinks his punishment is bad. Washing windows at SHIELD HQ? Pfft! I had to clean the Intergalactic Zoo in Superman's fortress you do not wanna see the droppings of the metal eatin' monster believe me. And I gotta keep dodgin' the Starro, and The Black Mercy.

Also I gotta clean the bottle city of Kandor. Not the bottle the damned city itself. And Of course I'm shrunk down in it with no powers. Oh and finally the most fun of all Training with Batman.

Well not really trainin' per say it's just an excuse for Bats to wail on me for an hour in a red sun room. And since he read my blog comments and saw me dissin' him well he's added Adamantinum gloves for extra fun.

So Now that I was finally able to go back to the tower, and just deal with the lesser of two evils Robin, well I wasn't expecting him to Poke me with a broom or bake a lasagna just to throw at me. Robin and his danged tasty tasty revenge.

I wish I hadn't laughed when he said he was a virgin though. I mean that was mean. Even though I can't figure out how that happened. I mean the bat family, have girls all over them. Look At Bats last week at this Christmas charity event.



Then there's chicks like Tarantula, and Talia who just take what they want from Bats and Nightwing. Even Jason Todd has Vella running around after him. Let me restate Red Hood, Who dressed like an evil tootsie roll pop, has a girl stalking him.

When I was talking to Kara bout this, she rolled her eyes. "You know Conner tim Thinks before he leaps unlike you if you weren’t half Kryptonian I don't doubt you'd have a thousand STDs now."

I glare. " Your one to talk. "

" Hey when your evil father uses you as a weapon you can talk Kon."

" Um hello? Lex? "

She shakes her head. "Rao! We are screwed up. But hey, I learned from my mistakes you just seem to keep making the same ones over and over. Also Tim is just waiting for the right one nothing wrong with that. Unlike you who has to keep hurting miss right for whatever reason."


I ain't tryin' to hurt Wondergirl it's just that... "

I'm interrupted by this blonde dude who says. "Excuse me?"

"Hey rude Starbucks customer guy leave me.. Wait do I know you?"

"Yes. It's been a long time Kid. Glad you got rid of the bowl haircut. Though I miss the leather jacket. "

" It wasn't a bowl Ben, it was a fade and it was better than that hoodie you used to wear, Though I must admit your Spidey costume was awesome. So your back from the dead too huh?"

" Yeah, and of all people I have Booster Gold to thank for that. I'll tell you about it sometime. though I'm here now for a bit of a recruitment drive."

Supergirl makes a coughing sound. "Want to introduce me Conner?"

“Yeah sure this is Ben Reilly, Aka The Scarlet Spider. Another clone, though he's A Spidey clone so he's a bit hated and all that and he owes me a rematch for the fight he cheated in when he beat me."

" I did not cheat Kid you blundered on your own." He protests.

"Okay so recruitment for a job? Me?"

Ben sighs. "No. I wanted to have you along but the boss wanted your cousin. "

"Oh and who's the Boss?" He's outside. We go to see him and why am I not surprised?




" I told you not to bring him into this Scarlet Spider!"

" Outta What?" I ask. " let me guess this something Superman wouldn't like isn't it?"


"Hh." he responds " Most likely, although it needs to done. Clark will just have to deal with it."

" And what's it?" I ask again.

" I had considered you Conner. You have Impressed me with some things like defeating Vincent at the tournament. Capturing Black Zero, and several other villains, though your blatant immaturity has outweighed that. The constant womanizing, the putting up billboards that spread lies about Robin. The dancing with Stephanie while you had a noble goal, you went about it the wrong way putting Robin in an emotinal crisis.and finally, The Batgirl love bot. You've proven to me that you aren't ready to graduate from the Titans yet, in fact you may need to be demoted to the Power Pack so you can be around others of your own emotional level. Kara you on the other hand have impressed me. You are ready."


" What 're you quittin' the JLA Again?" I query.

"No. I am staying in the JLA the less you know about what I’m doing the better. Conner. Kara? What is your answer?"

"Tell me what your offering Bruce and we'll talk ." She smiles.

" Fine meet me at the Batcave." he starts walking over to the Batwing With Ben in tow."

"So what does Tim think about you recruiting from his team eh?" I yell.

"He doesn't know, and when he does he'll just have to deal with it."

Damn. Looks like Bats is in full jerk mode again.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Arena of stupid

Somehow me and Batman were taken to some place between realities to battle other versions of ourselves. While we waited to battle he complained the whole time to me about Conner.

"What he did was irresponsible,and borderline psychotic. Building a love bot is something Lex Luthor would do not Superman."

I roll my eyes. " He's not Lex. He just doesn't think before he acts a lot of times. He's being punished so stop worrying about it. "

" Perhaps you should try to figure out why he keeps acting out." Batman growls. " Hell Kara is now beginning to act more normal ."

I took a little offense at that. Sure Supergirl had a rough time fitting in when she first came to the planet. But she's gotten past her issues, and is doing quite well now days.

" So. How's Jason doing these days?" I ask.

" That's a low blow Clark."

Before I can respond, It's my turn to fight. All the alternate versions of me I fought were strange .. to say the least.





I never thought I would miss fighting Ultraman, Nazi Superman, Or Soviet Superman. I wish I knew what the point of fighting these other "Supermen" is.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Kon: Misadaventures in Ghost busting finale

HS tried to talk me outta my brilliant idea. " Kon girls are sensitive about that kind of thing dude Cass will think it's a violation. And Shiara.... "

" Dude Cass Don't even know what the word violation means. Things that would bother most chicks don't even register to her. Besides I got 'er permission before doin' this she said and I quote As... long.. as I don't have... to touch Zero . Also with Shiara you are whipped buddy. "

" She's okay with a robot that looks like her doing it with a dead guy?"


" Yup ." I shrugged.

He eyes me suspiciously. " Did she understand what you were saying?"

" Uh huh. And once again she said as long as she didn't have to do it."

" Have you ever thought about how Zero is gonna accomplish this? I mean he's intangible. "

Ya know I did but with all the time I've been havin' not bein' able to sleep. I kinda forgot what I came up with. I look over to some Robin robot that Supergirl built so she can destroy it every time he gave her an order she didn't like.

" He can use the Robin bot, Ya know possess it. "

HS slaps his face. " That's wrong in so many ways." I keep thinking there was something Supes told me not put in the robots I build but I can't remember what.Damn exhaustion.

Any way the with the bot I fly to Titans' Tower. I convince Zero to possess the Robin bot. And we HS,and Cass bot in San Fransisco. Zero/ Robin Bot puts lame moves on on the Cass bot.

It didn't matter she liked it.
They apparently made a spectacle of themselves. There were people yelling " I thought those two were... eeeeew!" I guess they don't know the real Batgirl, and Robin ain't really kin just both adopted by Bats.

Never really got why Rob never went for it. Instead he fixes her up with antisocial half saiyan. If it was fear of Batman, or if he really thought of her as a sister. That or she ain't interested either way no reason to punish her with with fixing her up with That Vincent loser.



Me and HS go back to Titan's Tower , and start playing the new Smackdown VS Raw game. My Kon character was beating HS' character when Wonder Girl Rushes in. " Okay Conner what did you do?"

" I know ya've been made Titan's Leader until Rob comes back but..."


She glares." That's the problem I know for certain Robin and Batgirl are both in Gotham. And yet they are on television, making a porno on the San Fransisco roof tops, It's all over the news right now! And I know you Conner. You have something to do with it. "

" Okay I made a Cass Bot and Zero is in side the Robin Bot. "

" Great Hera Conner! That's so sick! HS Why did you let him do this?"

" I tried to talk him out of it." HS complains.

Cassie, changes the channel to show us the grossness I don't wanna see that. But for some reason That Future Kid that had threatened Black Zero sometime back was there. He pulls Robin bot off of Cass Bot and sneers.

" A robot, eh? I don't know who it is that's decided to lure me out with this insult. But I will do to them what I do to you!" He rips the Robin Bot in two. And the Zero Ghost stands there.

" Hey Mister that's my girlfriend, and you interrupted a tender moment. "

Cain stares. " Huh. Mother never mentioned you. She mentioned some guy that was called Black Wind she had a crush on Kon-El, my father and a couple of others but not you. Why do you suppose that it is spirit?"

" She was too hurt after my death?" He stutters.

" I doubt that. " Cain snorts. " Anyway that is not my mother , but a mockery it has no life force. But as for you Dragon Flame!"

The ghost sets on fire. Cain sneers. " It's magic fire it can even hurt you there is only one way to stop it. Move on to the next plane of existence! Reincarnate go to Heaven or Hell or whatever I don't care! Just leave this world!"

The ghost vanishes then Cain looks at the Cass Cain Bot. Who whines "I liked that Why did you stop it?"

This just makes the saiyan growl. " One of the few people who didn't treat me like some kind of beast, and your very existence mocks her. I will not have it!"

Then I remember what that part was I wasn't supposed to put in was. It gave the Cass Cain Bot superhuman strength This just pissed off the hybrid dude. Who became a supersaiyan.

He blasted the robot with something called a " Big Bang Attack." Then he stares at the news camera. " Whoever is responsible for this I will find you ! And you will feel my wrath!"


Me and HS Both do that gulping thing you do when when your scared. The look in his eyes was freaky. Insane freaky.

Wonder girl sighs. " Perfect you two ticked off a psychopath. "

" Me?" HS shouts. " I didn't do anything!"

" Hey there's no way Bruce can trace it back to us. We got away Scott free. " I reassure. Until we hear this " Ahem." behind us. We turn and see our dads!

Shit.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Kon: misadventures in ghost busting part 2

Ya know Bludhaven wasn't that awesome when it was still built up. It was like Gotham's ugly sister. Now it's a big hole in the ground, with the stench of Chemo Everywhere.

I was pulling out bodies and burying them at super speed , With HS continually going " Nope! No."

Then pieces of Chemo attacked me . They just jumped off the bodies And engulfed me. HS burned them off.

" Kon Are you alright?"

" No! it's horrible!" I shout.

" What are you hurt? "

" No it ruined my favorite shirt!"


" Conner be serious." HS moans.


Well it's kinda hard to do dude with this needle in the haystack thing we're doin'. No way we can find Zero's body to bury it in hey... wait a second."


" What is it Conner? You got something?"

" Yeah I think so, If Cass' old apartment is still there I think we'll find loser's body."

I lead HS to the area, and we throw a bunch of rubble. outta the way until we get inta what was left of Batgirls's old apartment.

"I don't see him anywhere Kon." HS States.

" Hmmm. " I start rubbing my chin. " If I was a loser stalker who couldn't get any Where would I be if I was in the object of my obsession's apartment?"


" I don't know dude You'd have to be pretty perverted to even think Like Zero." HS thinks.

" Eureka!" I shout " The underwear drawer!"

We walk though the corridor and I use TTK Clear away the last of the rubble and melted stuff and lo and behold There is a skeleton in Bad clothes holding a bra in one hand and panties up to his face in the other. What a weirdo.

" Well we found it! on to the burial! Old chum!"


" Why do you do that?" HS asked.

" You've never seen my dad slip caffeine pills in Batman's decaf coffee using his speed have you?" I smile.


" No." Hs Admits.

" Well he talks like that when he's on a caffeine high calling Robin Old Chum And yelling to The Batpoles it's hilarious!"

" Okay Pal. Let's bury this guy and get out of this pit. "

So we bury the body and put up a head stone. I burn " Loser into it with my Heatvision and HS rolls his eyes.



We get back to Titan's tower. And find not only Zero ghost still there, being lame. But Robin hiding behind my entertainment center. With Kara on on my chair looking confused.

" Kara do I even wanna know what's goin' on in here?"

" I just walked up to Robin and said hi. He ran in here and hid."

I shrug." Bat family issues? Hey rob! Whatcha doin?"


" Is that Steph out there?"
He looks worried.


" No Kara." My cousin from Krypton." He comes out and Wonder Girl walks in to the door. " AAh! Steph!'


" Okay. " Cassie shakes her head. " What's with him?"

" I dunno, As you can see I still have the ghost. "

" Life is meaningless." The ghost states.

" Ya aren't even livin!" I shout. " What will it take to get rid of you?"

" I want what you stole from me a night with Cassandra , the other one not the blonde."


" Hey! " Cassie yells. " Why not? Wait what am I saying ? Your weird. I don't care if you like me."


Robin shrieks from under my bed now, Yeah he's gonna have to leave there soon. " You are not touching my little sister emo!" Ya know it's times like this I miss Bart he would enjoy this chaos. I call HS over.

" Okay huddle like in football. He wants Cassie Cain I say we give her to him."

" Dude I am not pimping out my uncle's girlfriend to a dead guy."

"I didn't say your uncle's girlfriend pal.The Cassie Cain he'll be gettin' busy with ain't the one that's in West City Or in Gotham I can't keep up where she is any way it won't be that one."

" I don't follow Conner."

" I'll explain on the way to the Fortress of Solitude. "

Friday, November 09, 2007

Misadventures in ghostbusting part one.

So HS says an angel can help us huh? I know an Angel who used to be on the JLA Zauriel.I jump up and grab him because ya know every time heroes meet we gotta fight first. He zaps me with some magic and I fall.


" Why did you attack me? I'm telling Superman how you treated me! " he flies off.

" Kon, if you wanted him to help us why did you attack?" HS shakes his head.

" It's superhero etiquette first ya fight then ya team up. Someone forgot to tell Zauriel ."

Hs rolls his eyes. " perhaps we should try something else Kon, do you know where Zero's body is?"

I think for a second." No, but i know someone who might. The chick I "stole" from from him Batgirl. "

" Ya know Kon we could have avoided all of this if you didn't do the whole one night stand , love and leave ' em thing."

" Yeah yeah! On to West City faithful Sidekick!"

He sighs. " Do you want me to help you?"

" Sure." I say.

" Then don't call me sidekick."

I smile " Sure old chum!"

" Let's go You know I like you better when you actually sleep."

" Yeah when we get rid of of whiny, I'll stop that."

Ya know what's weird about Team Legacy's House? It ain't that well Superheroish. ya know the X-men ,Avengers, and Batman all live in these mansions. While Legacy just lives in a house. Maybe Nightwing coulda helped them gave them a big giant "L " to live in or something.

Well we knock on the door and it just kinda opens me and HS think evil giant avocado monster or prissy supervillian attack. Nope It was just Gwen leaves the door open when she goes outside.

And we walk into this room to find Stephanie and Cassandra dancing. when Steph dips Cass I yell " Woah! I always knew you two were an item!"

Spoiler gets my hopes up with. "Yes you came in right before we were about shower together, and have a pillow fight in our underwear."

Sweet. Then Cassandra has to destroy my fantasy with. Um.. I love Vincent.. And um.. How would we um.. you don't have a ... "

Then Stephanie answers with. " Cass. Don't worry about it. I'm just messing with these two's tiny boy minds."

I smirk. " You know Cass if your curious I have some DVDs... "


She interrupts me and asks me what I was doing there. " well what can you tell us about Zero?" HS interrupts.

" Bad kisser... " Cass starts with her looking for words thing. . " I was.. younger.. dumb. "

I smile. " Yeah that's why ya spent your first time with me right? I'm a good kisser."

" Yes." My ego soars. " Your just bad at... everything else. " And it plummets to floor , and is beaten to death. " Why do you care about Zero?"

" His ghost is haunting me. " I explain. " And my bud HS says we should try to find his body and bury it. "

Then Cass Starts sobbing. " He's.. at Bludhaven.. With all the others... I couldn't save them.. I left to find my mother. .. " She then wanders sulks off to her cave hideout. I know how it feels when you can't save someone like me failing to save Tana.

So I decide to pretend I wasn't bothered. " Ya know Steph I see why Tim likes ya ." After she lectures me on upsetting Cass then we fly off before Vincent with his supersaiyan jealousy decides to show up. Or Inertia, well if he ever found his way off Bizarro World.

I fly a little further. And HS catches up . " Hey what happened to you bck there? "


" What do ya mean?" I try to avoid the subject.

" I mean after Cass was talking about not being able to save Bludhaven you went all weird."

I sigh. " The first woman I loved was murdered. Ya know after losing evreyone from Spoiler to all her friends at Bludhaven I can see why Cass decided to get one of them back. "

" you want to talk about it?" he asks.

" No not really. " I change the subject. " Rao this is gonna be tough. Finding one body in that crater of the dead Bludhaven has become."


" Well we could try something else. " HS Shrugs.

" Nah. We'd likely end up doin' this anyway . " I grin. " On to Bludhaven Old Chum!"

He shakes his head. " This is going to be a long trip."

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Kon: Hey HS..

So HS is angstin' bout his dad being reverted mentally to a seventeen year old.

" And he doesn't.. know mom thinks I'm crazy and worse he keeps trying to go back into his own Universe...."


"Uh huh uh huh..ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. "


" Conner! Hey Conner! Am I boring you? "

" Eh? Wha? Aw no man, It's just that hey ya know magic and stuff right?"

" Yeah a little why?"


I smile. "Sweet maybe ya can help me out with a problem pal."

I take him to Titans' tower, and of course Ravager whistles at him as usual not that it matters.. Because she don't matter. I open up my room. " That. Can ya get rid of it? "


"A crying ghost of some dude?" HS asks.

" Yeah. He constantly whines, cries , and he won't let me sleep. Please can ya do something?"

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Robin thinks he has problems with dead?

So Tim Comes in yelling. "The dead are talking to me!"

" Your lucky they are just talking to you." I sigh.

" Huh?" Robin asks.

" They aren't appearing in front of ya, or yellin' at ya are they?"

" Um No." He responds. "Conner Are you feeling okay?"

" Come with me Tim. I lead him to room and show him the annoying ghost that's been haunting me for weeks. "


" You Took Cassandra's Virginity!" " the tattooed loser ghost yelled pointing at me.

" Which one?" I yell.

" hey! I saw this kid in Bludhaven." Robin rubs his chin. " Yeah Your Cass' Ex. the loser.That I wanted to beat up!"


I laugh. "I can see why he is pretty whiny. So the Cass he dated was Cain right? what's this douche's name. "

" Zero." Tim said.

" BWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! Ah jeez the name describes the guy."

The ghost whines at me again. " She made out with me than had sex with you!"

I smile. " Well I ain't a tattooed whiner, And if your ghost is any indication ya didn't take baths in life. And there's one big difference between us dude. "


" Yeah?" the ghost looks up.

" I'm hot dude."

" You wish Conner!" Ravager walks by yelling. " that and your extremely tiny downstairs!"


How many times do I have to tell people this? " It ain't true! Cass lied about that!!!!"

I turn my attention back to loser ghost. " Why ain't ya hauntin' Cass herself or Vincent? I mean I only had the one time with her. "


" Yeah and ya almost turned her off guys small fry!" Ravager chuckles.

" There ain't no way her boyfriend is that much bigger than me!" I yell.

" Your slutty cousin took pictures of him back when they dated. , and yeah he is." Ravager. states.

" Any way. Why are you haunting me?" I ask the ghost again ignoring Ravager.

" Because I was supposed to sleep with her !" Again with the damn whining. " And the saiyan boy ignores me. Or he sleeps with Cass In front of me then he shows off. And finally his sister banished me with a ring. "

" Wow pathetic in life , and worse as a ghost." Tim grins. " Glad i set her up with Vincent. He's a step up from you."

" Fine I'll haunt you Robin."

" After living with Batman a loser ghost isn't going to bother me. " He chuckles "So go for it.

The ghost yells that's it "I'm going to go and cut myself!" He tries to grab A knife I have in room and his hand goes through it Then he huddles in the corner and cries. i throw a whole bunch of blankets over him. Though they go through him after a while piling them means I can't see him. I'll am so calling an exorcist. or I'll get a Green Lantern to Banish him . I wonder If I still have those black mail pics of Guy Gardener?