Okay So Van is like dyin’ Now I feel bad for all the crap I pulled with him Superman is scanning him in the Fortress to see if there's any way to stop it me I kinda think the only only person In the planet that can do it is the only one that succesfully created a kryptonian clone Lex Luthor.
He's not an easy guy to find, and well we don't exactly get along. I kept just flying into his old bases until the screen of a big ass computer lights up in one of his bases and chrome dome appears on screen
"The Prodigal son returns” he laughs." To what do I owe this visit Kon?"
“I ain't your son dude!"
“I created you. My very blood flows trough your veins." He grins.
That thought makes me sick to my stomach. “Alright what ever, you know about the other clone that was created right? Van?"
“So what? I hear he is degenerating. He and that Match clone are mockeries of what I have accomplished. Mockeries that are slowly rotting away. "
“Well somehow Match got back to normal..." I shrug. “I want to ask for your help in saving Van."
He starts laughing hysterically. “Never! I am not fixing the mistakes of Westfield's Lab monkeys. Without me they created twelve flawed clones of that Alien! They should have known their limitations and not have attempted to create another one. The clone shall pay for their hubris."
" Jeeze a simple no would have been just fine Lex."
Then Lex gets all creepy. " It's good to see you again son." I destroy the computer with my Heat Vision. You know when he says things like I'm reminded of the Time Ravager tried to convince me that I was created because Lex has some kind of man crush on Supes. Yuck!
Well when I went to Bats' house to see what the Titans could come up with Robin has a weird grin on his face. "Conner we're trading you for a week for the Liefield verse Superboy."
What's the Liefieled-verse? They come out of the portal and good god look at them!
" Have fun Conner. " Robin laughs. What did I deserve to deserve this? After spending one afternoon here I'm scared. There are dudes here with names like Badrock and Shaft and one dude is even named Deathblow sounds like some awful porn. And they are in teams with Names like Youngblood, and Deathspank or other weird names.
Okay I made up Deathspank at least I think I did. Any way People here all stand weird I don't think the girls have spines. And well everybody hides their feet for some reason. And If I see one more freaking pouch on someone's costume. I'm going to hurt someone. I wonder how the Titans are doing with my doppelganger.
Meanwhile “Okay Kon do your chores." Robin orders.
" Huuurrr Superboy will do chores!"
“Well at least he takes orders better than our Conner."
Outside "Superboy wash cars by throwing them into lake!"
Robin slaps his forehead. "Bruce is gonna kill me."
Then Liefield Superboy turns his attention To Wonder girl " Huur. Snoo snoo!"
“What is that?"
"Superboy is happy in pants!"
Wondergirl kicks him in the groin. "Arrgh! Now Superboy is sad in pants!"
Now back to Kon.
Oh man I was exploring here and met the Hulk here. He has some kinda weird bad hairrcurt (Even worse than normal Hulk.) And he wears no pants!
Let me repeat that The Hulk here is naked it's creepy! Also I think this Universe's Cassie wants me.
At least I think that's what "unh" means. I mean I don't speak deformed cavewoman speak. But there is no way in hell I'd hit that, unless it was with a bat. I hate it here. Please I want to go home!