Saturday, February 03, 2007

Wait ! Since when is Match Bizzaro Jr?

Ok people stop hitting me! Especially if your a transvestite that's just weird. Well the whole Vampi Draculina thing is over. And Pretty much everything is back to normal. Well except two things.

The first one HS stole all my girlie mags. Yeah just keep 'em.

Second Cassie 's still Po'ed. I asked her to dinner to try an' smooth this out. Yeah she isn't in the smoothing over mood. She starts crying and asks "How long has it been going on?"

" This was the first and Only time she hypnotised me, like she did iron man , and Hercules, and... Wonder Man "

" Those idiots would chase anything in a skirt that can breathe. Your not helping your self."

" And Thor. She got Thor too." I interrupt. " And for some reason She- hulk . Ya know I thought her power only worked on men... I guess There's something about Jennifer we didn't know."

She laughs a little despite her self. " Conner your not going to joke your way out of this one. Am I not good enough?"

" What I'm shocked She was always perfect it's me who always messes up. " No It has nothing to do with that. I was mesmerised I know it sounds like a lame excuse and all. Especially how I act when I see a pretty face but come on! She took over full grown men. Am I supposed to be different because I wear an S shield?"

She glares at me. " It's exactly why because how you act. Your always bragging about using your X-ray vision on women."

" I'm joking." I say. " Besides even if I was it's lookin' not touching. I wouldn't do that."

" Oh you mean like how when you were dating Tana , you didn't run around with Knockout?" she spits.

That one hit below the belt but I did deserve it. " I was trying to help her turn to good ya know. I had no idea she was just using me . And I put her in prison when I found out she murdered people."

She looks down " I want to believe you Kon but it's hard, this is a pattern with you ."

Before I can answer, this thing busts in the restaurant.

We get up to fight it. But then I look at it. It's wearing my shirt with a backwards S. Think I know who it is. " Match?"

" Me am Match! You am Superboy!" It utters.

" Ok. What happened to you?" He doesn't answer but knocks me through a wall. I recover in time to see Cass beat the Hell out of him. Well until he sneaks in a blast of Heat Vision.

Dammit! I bet all this emotional crap has her off her game. She should be about as Strong , if not stronger than Match . He grabs her and flies her off somewhere. I can barley keep up with Telescopic Vision.

I call the Titans. And start looking for them. I remember what Kal told me during the fight with the Vampires. I turn on the super hearing. First thing I hear is " Jimmy Olsen is a pretty man ! A pretty pretty man!"

EEEW! Not Jimmy's weird song again! Ok. I gotta turn down the hearing a little , I somehow heard something going on in Metropolis from San Francisco. Finally I hear. " Me am glad real Superboy hurt you. Me am Match me no come back from dead."

I hate Bizzaro speak so much. This is so weird . Match was made by the Agenda from my DNA he was created to be stronger, and better than me at most everything except one he had no free will.

I guess they messed something up. He's degenerating. Me ? I may hate Lex for a lot of the stuff he's put me through, but he made sure I wouldn't turn into that, when he created me.

I find them with the telescopic vision and pour on the superspeed. The whole way there. I hear " Me am fake Kon-El. Me sleep with Vampirella. Like he not do. He am real Kon-El. Me am fake."

Wait a sec if he's talking in Bizarro he's saying the opposite of everything he means. He's trying to convince her he's me! Again! When I hear her ask " Conner?" I lose it.

I slam into this mockery of me . He knocks me away. Then he starts up with the Heat Vision. " You am the one that died ! Me no come back from life like this! You Give everything Back to me!"

I am more than sick of this! " I took nothing from you psycho! I'm Kon-El I'm the one that died and came back freako! You really need to come up with a new plan jerk !"

I hadn't noticed that I walked right up to him. Through the heat vision! Oh man I'm gone be feelin' this in an hour. But right now I don't care. Evreytime this punk shows up he steals my identity.

I throw a right hook at his jaw. Fugly staggers. He takes he takes a punch to the gut. He he retaliates and starts strangling me. Then all the sudden he gets real weak. I see this weird blue light. I turn to find Robin. With Blue Kryptonite.

" I was right since Match has turned the blue K affects him like Bizarro. Is it hurting you Conner?"

" Nope . " I grin as I land a mean upper cut putting my evil twin down. Cass asks Miss Martian to scan our minds . Great she's having doubts about which one is real.

" Well now that is a pickle." the green chick states. " They both think they are Kon. And um non Bizzaro Kon? Please don't look up my skirt. "

She really needs to not fly over people in that skirt. It wasn't just me . I saw Tim take a quick look, Jericho took one ,and Ravager hit him for it. Bart , Ok Bart didn't But well he's Bart.

After That little light moment everyone looked at me " What I'm Kon really I am."

" Or maybe you just think you are. " Ravager eyes me suspiciously. Or should I say "eye."

" Look guys I am Conner !"

Robin says he believes me, but I think he may be the only one. I hate Match!


Robin said...

It's a bit hard not to look up her (microscopic) skirt considering she's freaking green. I'd have a word with her but...hey short skirts are fine with me. But I will have a word with Cassandra, you're taking far to much crap for all of this. Im kinda surprised she brought up Tana...after all Tana is dead.
It's a bit hard not to look up her (microscopic) skirt considering she's freaking green. I'd have a word with her but...hey short skirts are fine with me. But I will have a word with Cassandra, you're taking far to much crap for all of this. Im kinda surprised she brought up Tana...after all Tana is dead. Why don't we all arrange to go out to the movies or something that way Cassandra doesn't think you're desperately trying to smooth things over. Heck the other "new" Titans need it, Ravager needs to learn she can't try to cut of a guys hand if he says hi. They are really socially handicapped.

Kid Flash said...

Hey I know who the real Kon is! I'm not color blind, after all are Kon looks human whilst match has white skin and red eyes. It really isn't that hard to tell.

Anonymous said...

there was a reason I took them

Kon-El said...

Rob: Don't talk to her on my account, she should just not be mad when we guys do what comes natural. As for the movie great idea.

Bart Heh.

HS : thanks bud I don't want the image of naked Kara burned into my brain.